Nastasya Parker

Community Stories

This Week’s Bit of String: French Wars of Religion

Our first views of the Dordogne region, after landing in Bergerac’s two-chamber airport in 36-degree heat, were flat and bright. The only break in the horizon seemed to be a single spire in the distance.

That spire turned out to be very near our destination. Last week, I accompanied my talented musical husband and a 21-piece band to Bergerac, which our town is newly twinned with. They host a jazz festival, Jazz Pourpre, each year and our local big band would play 3 different gigs in as many days.

*Saint James, Bergerac, with its Cyrano statue*

Jazz Pourpre takes place behind the mid-19th century church of Notre Dame. At the opposite end of the street is a monument to the French Resistance, so the band played their final concert under the word RESIST running down the obelisk into the white peak of the tent.

I don’t know how strong the Resistance was in Bergerac during World War II. But it has sometimes been staunch in its individuality. It was a Huguenot stronghold in the 16th century, during the Wars of Religion, and most Catholic buildings were destroyed while the nuns and clergy were enslaved or executed. Hence the formidable height of the Notre Dame, built later in the 1800s with a vengeance.

The great old church of Saint James was left standing, but emptied out and used as a fortress. Among all the relics the Protestants destroyed was a supposed piece of Christ’s cross, gifted to the town by Charlemagne when he passed through. I know there’s little chance it was an authentic artefact from Biblical times, but having been treated as such for eight centuries, that scrap of wood would have been the subject of prayers and pilgrimages and played a role in many lives.

Sometimes a story’s worth lies in what it means to people, not its authenticity.

Atrocities were committed on and against both sides in those wars. There were terrible massacres of Protestants, which our French Catholic guide didn’t mention specifically. But on our tour of the town, she did tell us: “At that time, a human life was worth no more than a chicken.”

Tale Keepers

I kept busy exploring and scribbling about what I found, while my husband and the band played and managed various logistics. Our French hosts from the Twinning committee would wander over and ask me what I was writing about.

One monsieur elaborated on the far-reaching effects of the Wars of Religion. When the Catholics “won,” he said, many Protestants fled the country. But they didn’t want to live without the wines of Bergerac, so they established trade and Bergerac shipped wines up the Dordogne River. Taverns in Bristol were supplied by Bergerac at one time.

*This picture sums up a wonderful 3.5 days*.

However, the Bordeaux region noticed the exports passing through, and according to my new friend, they invested in and developed their own vineyards, then stopped Bergerac’s shipments on the Dordogne and insisted that the Bordeaux wines be exported instead. So we end up with Bordeaux wines being the most famous, centuries on.

The man who was telling me this had lived in Paris for 30 years, even spent a summer working at a camp in Little Rock, Arkansas, and his three children live throughout the world: Bournemouth, Netherlands, Guatemala. But he’s settled in Bergerac and passionate about its history. Likewise, our tour guide Catherine had not been a Bergerac native but was a generous font of local information.

With the lovely Bergerac twinning committee organising transport and meals and even a boat tour on the Dordogne for us, we sometimes wondered what our town on the post-industrial outskirts of the Cotswolds could offer in return.

But as transplants to the area, with no family nearby, we have a lot of experience making it a place worth visiting. Whenever family do come to see us, we find a fair bit to do around here.

We hugely value the local knowledge guarded by those who’ve spent much of their lives here. We may have a fresh appreciation for how it all presents itself, though.

On Our Doorstep

Our town is only one-quarter the size of Bergerac. We too have a central church called St. James, dating back to the 15th century. It was the site of some carnage in 1698 when the steeple collapsed, and the bellringers inside were killed. Now, it hosts a free book fair on Saturday mornings. Behind it, there are a couple trees which are stunning in springtime with an unparalleled froth of blossoms, and further along there’s a little system of alleys entangled with a small water channel.

Bergerac has a much bigger knot of medieval alleyways, but I do love the little stone arches in Dursley. And I don’t think Bergerac still displays a 19th-century sign instructing townspeople not to wash offal or entrails in the spring. Dursley has, thank you very much.

Our town used to be the site of a massive engine factory. A minor work of literature was based in this factory, like a Kafkaesque version of Sinclair’s The Jungle. Peter C. Brown worked in the Lister factory when he wrote Smallcreep’s Day, about a bored employee who explores his workplace and finds all sorts of surreal happenings.

We used to have a Smallcreep Street named after the character. It’s a fantastic character name, isn’t it? If I were giving a tour, I’d definitely include that.

What stories do you know about where you live, and how did you find out about them?

Never Said That Before

This Week’s Bit of String: Another Year 11 group flies the nest

“Miss, what are you going to do without us, when we’re on study leave?” It’s the last English lesson with bottom-set Year 11s, and a particularly loquacious boy is curious.

I assure him the Year 10s will keep me busy, and he nods sagely, “More grey hairs for you, then.”

I had worked hard with this little fellow, insisting he can absolutely pass, if he focuses. Many times per lesson, redirecting him toward tasks he’s somehow oblivious to, reminding him to face front and stop making silly faces for attention. I joked last week I’ve named a couple of my grey hairs after him, and I guess that made him proud.

*Some unique and sometimes broken pieces*

“Will you sign my shirt on leaving day? And write about the grey hairs?” he asks.

Sure, kiddo. So long, and thanks for all the grey hairs.

We have another seven hot and tiring weeks of school left after the half-term, but the Year 11 low-set English class I’ve supported for the last two years will only be in for exams, and a couple of revision sessions.

It’s been a journey. There’s still a way to go before most of them reach a destination, but progress comes in many forms. And they are who they are, each with very distinct personalities, strengths, and stresses. The exam results won’t be stellar, but hopefully they’ll take some encouragement with them and I’ll certainly take some tales with me.

At the beginning of their Year 10, I had to request of one boy: “Please don’t stick my highlighter up your nose.”

Note the personal pronoun here. He had refused to produce his own equipment, I loaned him some of mine, and he treated it like a preschooler might.

However, during our final English classes in Year 11, several students used borrowed highlighters and pens and classroom glue sticks to build towers and balance them. This was while the teachers were imparting strategies for taking exam papers, but hey. Personal growth!

This is the class with the Trio of Fortitude. One member of the Trio came into school every day but one this term, while up till now he averaged two days off per week. Again: progress.

Breaking Records

One of my dad’s most famous sayings is “I’ve never said that before.” He relishes using it to mark life’s many unexpected encounters.

To me, this is a fun way to notice stories. It can denote unusual occurrences, or different ways of looking at the everyday.

*It was a particularly stressful term in various respects. Here’s some medicinal purple I found.*

Each year group I work with spawns plenty of things I’ve never had to say before. It can be exhausting, but on the bright side it means my job continues to be interesting. It’s 11 years now since I was helping a group revise for GCSEs and had to dispel a 16-year-old’s notion by saying, “Women don’t get pregnant from dildos.”

In one of my revision groups just this past week, I worked with our semi-reformed partial attender from the Trio of Fortitude. He’s a clever but uninspired boy, all scrawny angles and tattered uniform and imperious glances. Also in the group was a mischievous, elfin, blue-haired girl who has been a selective mute for her entire school career.

They kept kicking at a chair between them until she managed to trap his legs against the table with it. He complained of having his bones crushed, so I wrote on the whiteboard: No bone-crushing allowed.

“It’s official now. You’ll have to stop.”

She let the chair go with a disappointed sigh. The boy said, “What if she amputates my leg next?”

So I added to the board: And no nonconsensual amputations. I’d never said that before. Hurrah for some more special memories.

Progress is as Progress Does

For one of the very last lessons on Friday, the teacher brought the group out to the field to play rounders. I sat in the shade with a few others, including a particularly childish fellow who didn’t want to play sport, but was clearly bored.

He complained about the dewy grass. “Miss, my bum’s wet. My bum’s wet, Miss. Miss—”

*I do believe they’ll all find their path eventually.*

“I heard you the first time. Thank you for keeping us informed.”

Maybe there should be a category of “I never wanted to hear about that” to go with “I never said that before.”

Less than ten minutes before the lesson ended, on his last day of secondary school, this same 16-year-old came out with: “I should probably learn to tie my shoes.”

There was something I might help with. I spent 2 years trying to help his class remember themes from Lord of The Flies and identify personification, and remember the Poor Law of 1834 which motivated Dickens to write A Christmas Carol… The whole time we worked on that, this boy and a few others could still barely construct sentences. Standardised exams leave no time to teach basics.

But on the damp grass while others hollered over rounders hits, I helped him with his laces and he did seem to get the hang of the first knot.

They know they’ve annoyed me sometimes, but that I always try to help, and in that way perhaps we’ve both achieved something. They learn to open up a little, and I am reminded to count small signs of progress.

What are some ways you’ve made progress lately? Have you had occasion to say something you never said before?

The Deal-Breaker

This Week’s Bit of String: An empowering walk to work

After a not-entirely-fun Bank Holiday weekend, I set off to work Tuesday morning with a mix of Mika, sea shanties, and Noah Kahan playing on my earbuds.

Exams start in less than a week, equating to hours of sitting next to my SEN student while she attempts to answer papers designed for only half the population to pass. In a month, my parents will move out of their home after 37 years, a huge task which I can’t help with from overseas, but in my house I’m clearing out my son’s things and some of my own. During the long weekend, I spent hours going through school notebooks, birthday cards, crafts, story drafts, sheet music, and a few tiny little outfits and stuffed toys. I feel wrung-out.

I’m also doing lots of agent research, and the book I started over the weekend, Sally Rooney’s Intermezzo, was not proving enjoyable. I’ve heard her name a lot, and literary agents mention her.

But this book is full of dense, page-long paragraphs cataloging every thought the characters have, and the minute actions of their daily routines. Also the characters are of the relatively privileged, but miserable ilk.

While I walked to work that morning, I thought: What if I just didn’t read the remaining 300 pages of Intermezzo?

And I knew it was the right choice because beyond relief, I felt liberated (which is hopefully how I will also feel, instead of mournful, when boxes of Bear’s old things go to the charity shops). I felt MIGHTY.

There’s a lot I can’t control. But I AM a loving mother who’s just recycled half her precious child’s finger paintings and 95% of their schoolwork. I frequently scythe through passages of my short stories and chapters of novels to make them more readable. I am capable of ruthlessness and this was an opportune, low-risk situation in which to wield it.

A Rare Relinquishment

I’ve only left one unfinished book in recent years, and that was Murikami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. It had one of those male narrators who thinks everything is about sex and all girls want to sleep with him. Not a lot seemed to be happening, and I decided to use my time better.

*Is this the sort of display that will impress an agent?*

During my education, I read plenty of classics and plenty of books about unfortunate souls. From Hawthorne’s the Scarlet Letter and Bronte’s Jane Eyre, to James Joyce’s Dubliners and Kafka’s entire oeuvre, I put in the time and have relished the majority of those works.

But here I am, looking through agents’ requirements and all the preachy advice. At every step, writers are told to “Show, don’t tell” and to cut everything not indispensable to the plot. Where then does Ms. Rooney come off narrating (through her prematurely midlife-crisisy characters) every single thought in these interminable paragraphs with no differentiation for dialogue?

Nope, I was done. A couple weeks ago, I read a fun “romantic” genre novel to enjoy myself, and there are plenty of literary books I can enjoy too. If they, you know, have a plot heading somewhere at a decent pace.

Part of the Job

My target is to read 3 books this month, and I still can fit them in. After my fateful decision on my walk to work, and then the manic workday, I visited the town library and checked out an Anne Tyler novel. I’ve loved what I read of her before. She’s brilliant at “showing.” She’ll describe a character’s physical appearance in a pithy way that reveals their life philosophy as well. Yes, sometimes in her books she’ll walk you through each step of a protagonist’s actions as they execute a task, but she’ll do it in a revealing way. There’s a Raymond Carver-esque quality to it.

It’s also useful for me to read another Anne Tyler novel because I have been citing her family sagas as a comparison title to The Gospel of Eve. So, it’s research as well.

*The great bit of the long weekend: we celebrated our 22nd anniversary with an evening walk to a local garden centre to eat pasties, drink ciders, and listen to live music.*

There’s no doubt that reading is an important part of a writer’s work. It’s good for everyone to read a range of stories, but at more taxing stages in our lives/ creative endeavours, it’s best perhaps if reading doesn’t feel like a chore.

As fatigue accumulates and I feel often on the verge of tears, I’m working on fewer writing projects at a time to focus on querying, and I’m prioritising exercise and fresh air. I will take a week off from the clearing-out project too because there’s only so much ruthlessness I can stand.

Maybe if I’d picked up Rooney’s book at another time–perhaps when my child was still right here, running around me and telling me stuff–then I wouldn’t have minded it so much, and would have persevered. For now, Intermezzo has joined the ranks of the many books I’ll be donating to the charity shops.

What are your deal-breakers with a book? How far do you think we should push ourselves in our reading?

Labels: Friend or Foe?

This Week’s Bit of String: A heart-wrenching question

In a back corner of the school library, I’ve begun daily reading sessions with one of our Year 10 SEN boys. There are multiple clues in the book he’s reading that the narrator has autism. I asked him what he noticed about that, and he responded by asking what autism means.

*Paths are important, but sometimes it’s nice to stray from them…*

Then he asked, “Does that disability help them get good grades?”

He is very concerned with criteria of success. He considers career paths based on how much money they might provide. And he assesses circumstances by how they might affect one’s grades and prospects.

He worried, “Do I have a disability? Or am I just stupid?”

It’s heartbreaking to see students who, despite various strengths, feel so defined by their struggles that they long for the justification a diagnosis provides.

Judging a Book by Its Genre

Labels are useful because they give our brains an easy path to follow. We think, “Ah, something is this, therefore I know what to do with it.”

If a student has learning difficulties, we might provide literacy and numeracy support. If someone is neurodivergent, we’ll ensure they have spaces available to re-regulate when routine is disrupted.

Book publishers and, one assumes, readers alike appreciate genre labels because they give us an inkling what to expect. Is the read going to be gritty or cosy? Genres can help with that.

Labels can be limiting too, though. That happens for students with disabilities and in a more minor way, can happen with books. We tell ourselves we’d never dream of reading something from that genre.

*I loved this book. Don’t knock it unless you’ve tried it.*

Since I’m in a couple of critique groups, I send work to different writers every month or two. I read all sorts of pieces that come to me, and I comb through each with a view toward maximising potential, and provide detailed feedback. But every now and then, I receive a comment on my work saying, “I don’t usually read this genre, so I can’t comment.”

This happens to the opening of my novel retelling the Creation myth from Eve’s point of view. I think of it as Commercial Fiction, a sort of catch-all. Madeline Miller’s Circe was a massive hit after all, Disney has been re-filming the Percy Jackson series, Margaret Atwood and AS Byatt and Stephen Fry have all retold myths with great success.

But maybe some people dismiss it immediately as fantasy, or women’s fiction. I should work up my courage and ask the next person, “What genre do you think it is, exactly?”

“What Do I Have?”

Somewhat like my student anxiously asking, “What do I have?” while I showed him his EHCP to explain that he’s not, in fact, stupid, I do rather wish someone could just tell me what genre my book is instead of me trying to work it out. When querying agents, there’s no room for a mistake; they won’t give you a second chance.

But it is a bit rubbish, the genre system. Lots of books combine elements. Last week, I participated in the Women Writers Network discussion on women writers who blend genres, while this week, I’ve interviewed Lindz McLeod. She’s an incredibly hard-working writer covering speculative fiction, short stories tinged with horror, and also dabbling in retelling versions of Jane Austen. Truly, her imagination seems limitless and her appeal should be, too.

Stephen King has said that every book is a mystery. I agree with that. And even books without romance have relationships.

*Now I want to visit all the crumbling stately homes and eat all the cheesecakes.*

After my busy Easter break with the emotional roller coaster of traveling to the US and back, I returned to work. During the first couple weeks, I had a few writing commitments including the interview, while at my day job we gear up toward GCSE exams. I needed a fun and “easy” read so I picked a Milly Johnson book out of my TBR shelf. Her books are classed as Romantic Fiction so I hadn’t gone out of my way to read one before.

The Perfectly Imperfect Woman was the perfect read for me that week. A rollicking pace; clever, piquant descriptions; a well-rounded, super-relatable protagonist more on a journey to come to terms with a torturous past than to find romance. Oh, and there was cheesecake, and great big mysterious manor houses. There were multitudes contained within the genre label.

The idea of being “perfectly imperfect” is resonant to many of us, I suspect, and it’s the kind of attitude I want to foster in students. While understanding there will always be struggles, to work out the purposes worth struggling for, and the right support.

Do you have any theories or assumptions about genre fiction? What’s a book that impressed you from a genre you don’t usually read?

Rooms Like Open Books

This Week’s Bit of String: A broken magnet and psycho kitty paintings

My last post ended on somewhat of a cliffhanger when our catsitter had to cancel. As with writing and other creative endeavours, I couldn’t plan for every contingency.

Now we’re back from our travels. In the meantime, our house was inhabited by my husband’s co-worker, her husband, and their two little kids. Like a tantalising story or at least a sitcom, their emergency of home renovations taking a turn aligned with our small crisis, and my husband managed the last minute arrangements on the Sunday. I finished my cleaning and caught my flight, rising at 3:30 a.m. Monday, while he joined me on Thursday before Good Friday and the other family moved in.

*I hope the kids weren’t old enough to fathom my magnetic poetry (a weird mashup of motherhood and Shakespearean sets).*

There was little time to childproof, or to worry how Obie the cat would tolerate sharing his home with children. Obie was very happy to see me on my return, but not desperately so. I think he was fine.

In the recycling, there are boxes from children’s chocolate Easter eggs and construction toys. I washed the sheets and replaced the towels. The only sign of young guests inside was a broken magnet. I have some shaped like tiny jam jars, perfectly tactile and definitely something I’d have reached for as a kid. Only, they haven’t been moved around much lately, and so when it was grabbed, the jar broke off. I’m disappointed for the children that they didn’t have a better experience with the magnets.

I wonder what memories they’ll take with them from here. What images will stick in their minds as they grow up, long after they’ve forgotten the circumstances of why they stayed? At least they’re probably too young to notice the bedroom paint jobs we never got round to updating, or the cracked kitchen tiles we’re too scared to lift up. Goodness knows what can of worms that would open.

Detail Selection

My family did a housesit/ catsit when I was little. We stayed at the new pastor’s house, with a big black and white cat called Asia. I remember lounging about in the living room patting Asia and listening to my new favourite tape on our brown Fisher Price cassette player. It was the Animal Alphabet tape, with a song for an animal starting with each letter of the alphabet.

(Yes, even Q: quahog. And X was a roundup of Latin animal names, a very catchy ditty.)

*Hello, Officer. I’d like to report an anti-cat hate crime.*

They had a sunny living room, whereas we rented a log end of a farmhouse which was rather dark. And they had a swingset. There was also a secret passage in the house, which we later pretended was Underground Railroad-related, although it probably was more modern than that.

I’ve no idea why my family of 6 were chosen for this job, because in addition to minding the house and Asia the cat, at least some of the pastor’s 6 kids were also there. I was 5 years old, meaning my youngest sister would have been an infant. It’s a bit of a mystery what we were doing there, but sounds and images remain in my memory. I can see why I occasionally opted to hang out with the cat, though, rather than 3-9 other kids at a time.

Packed with History

While we were away visiting my family just now, we helped with some sorting and packing, and also with house hunting. My husband and I aren’t doing the moving, but my family’s search for a new house—to meet the needs of my parents as they approach their 70s, my autistic cousin, and my neurodivergent youngest sister—has been quite consuming.

The first house they looked at, about a month ago, had 21 rooms. It was massive, built in 1910 and kept in the same family until now. We went along for my parents’ third viewing, last Friday. The rooms are filled with dark antique furniture and floor-to-ceiling metal safes. The extra furniture, in turn, is filled with vintage toys and books.

We saw broken baby dolls and Little People playground sets. Plus, the above paintings of cats which were clearly painted by dog people ascribing the wickedest intent to the feline species.

We also found that the house had maybe the original wiring (called knob and tube). The windows need replacing, the external paint contained lead so probably the internal paint did too, and the bathrooms were so dirty it seemed they’d need gutting. Outside, a covered in-ground pool was buried in dead leaves. Once it had been surrounded by a large patio and lawn chairs, with lantern posts now cracked, and a listing playhouse in a far corner.

It saddened me that no one could halt the decay of what must have been a beloved family spot. How did the late antiques dealer owner feel when he collected rare pieces but the grown children never helped maintain the home?

For me, traveling to see my family and assist with whatever I can is a bit tiring, sure, but it’s imperative. I hope international chaos or health crises never stop me from making the journey. Especially since my family did find a house to buy while we were there—practically all in one day. It came on the market Easter Monday, we all viewed, and the offer was in by Monday evening.

It’s light and spacious, built in 1993. It has fewer than 21 rooms, with some open plan which will be great for our lively gatherings while reserving quiet areas, too. There’s even a swingset and slide in the yard, viewable from the wraparound deck. 5-year-old me would have liked it as much my current self is eager to lend a hand turning it into a home.

What resonates when we peek into others’ houses can raise new questions while also illuminating our own thoughts and concerns. Are there random places that stand out in your memory and may have inspired your creativity?

Big Picture Thinking

This Week’s Bit of String: A hasty clearout

My family moved house only once. I was 8 years old, basically prepubescent and pretty melodramatic about it. I initially vowed that if our new house didn’t have a backyard brook like our old one, I would run away.

We got a backyard swamp instead. Home ownership is hard. But the New House never fully sank into it, and my parents remained there for 37 years. I first raised my kiddo in one of the bedrooms and we’ve returned there every summer.

My sister was in first grade when we moved, and since we all have a storytelling streak, she had moments of drama too. Before the move, she arrived home from school ahead of me one day and later recounted to me that she found our Mom on her knees in front of a closet, grabbing everything and then throwing it behind her like a cartoon puppy digging under a fence. That created image has stayed in my mind all these years when I think about moving: chaos combined with hard, focused work.

*The New House. Taken about 26 years ago.*

At the time, we kids were 8, 7, 4, and barely 3, so on the rare moments when Mom could tackle a sorting or packing project, she undoubtedly did so at a frantic pace.

It was then, too, that Mom started using a certain expression which has stuck with me as well. We’d ask what about this, is that coming with us, or how is such-and-such going to work, and Mom would say, “It’s in the plan.”

We came to dread that phrase and Mom ended up alluding to it more as a kiss of death. Anything “in the plan” was like any garment consigned to her Mending Pile. It wasn’t about to emerge for a very long while, if ever (through no fault of her own, I hasten to add).

Now, my parents plus my youngest sister and my cousin, who both live with them, need to move again, and somehow pack and clear everything my family owns from the last 37 years plus some of my late aunt’s things at my cousin’s house.

Zooming Out

When 2026 began, I knew my parents’ move was on the horizon, plus this summer our kiddo’s wedding. This meant a fair bit of extra transatlantic travel, while balancing my job, growing my little garden crops, drafting at least half a novel, keeping up with two different critique groups and various other deadlines…

My planner had spaces for monthly goals, which proved highly useful. Before returning to work after Christmas, I’d organised 2026 through July, listing where I need to be each month to ensure every aspect of the year runs smoothly.

*Also important to make the most of each season. I spotted my first opened bluebell while foraging for wild garlic.*

In January, we’d decide if my husband would join me on my Easter trip, so he too can see the family house for the last time. We’d book airport parking and meanwhile support kiddos with choosing a wedding venue and setting a summer wedding date. I’d also begin decluttering my own house, and plant seeds.

By February, I was looking into housesitters to stay with Obie during our April trip to the US, my dining room table was covered with seedlings, I was finishing a whole new section of my novel, and buying my plane ticket for the summer.

This past week, as March and school Term 4 draw to a close and my flight is coming right up, I’m cleaning the house as deeply as I can manage for the housesitter, while arranging for the summer’s sitter. It’s a constant organisational cycle. And funnily, making space for someone else to stay involves me frantically stuffing things into closets rather than pawing it all out.

Plot Twist

In a way, I’ve applied story-plotting technique to life. In order for this to happen, that must come first. While engrossed from afar in the travails of my family’s house-hunting—and keeping a wary eye on chaotic current events—I’ve kept up with my novel-drafting.

Depending on how many other writing commitments I have in a week, I write either 2000-3000 words. This is made easier by the plotting I did before I started writing. With a rough idea of events needed in each section, I can keep myself going, even when life is distracting.

*Welcome distraction: the cherry tree beside the church in town*

Of course, the planning is a means, not an end. My characters have to be real and rounded enough so the story doesn’t feel like paint-by-numbers. The fact that I enjoy writing about them might mean I’m on the right track. There’s still delight as I see them in action, as they show me why they do what they do.

In real life, similarly, a plan is never ironclad. Having fewer people depending on me than my parents do gives me more control as I organise, but with our little Obie cat, we do depend on house sitters. And just this morning, at 5 a.m., our April sitter messaged that she’s been injured and can’t drive or walk. Or housesit.

So, less than 24 hours before I have to be at the airport, I’m reviewing the situation. Was it a mistake to put something “in the plan?”

How far ahead do you manage to plan things, and does it ever fully work out?

Stretching the Span

This Week’s Bit of String: A stand-up concert

On Thursday, we ventured to Bristol for a concert. Out on a schoolnight! Our future daughter-in-law recommended Leith Ross, a Canadian alternative, folk-tinged singer to me and I’d enjoyed her latest album, I Can See the Future.

My husband and I were older than most of the crowd. The enthusiastic audience of two or three hundred were mainly dressed in a fusion of Bohemian and grunge, probably in their early twenties. Unlike them, we weren’t used to gigs where you gather together standing on the floor. We’ve only attended concerts and shows in theatres before.

The format presented a little challenge for rather little me. I’m only 5’2. It kept me busy though, shifting so I could see. I do a lot of walking, and my job often has me running around, but standing is different. My feet felt lumpy after a while, as if I couldn’t press them flat to the earth, as if the bones had been scrambled into the wrong places.

Luckily, the great music distracted me, and the vibes in Trinity church were excellent. I kept observing my fellow music fans lit by the stage’s residual glow. All these young people stood watching, listening, reflecting, maybe holding a loved one or swaying, rarely looking at their phones.

Impressive, really. I’m not brilliant at stopping to absorb. My mind races with to-do lists, and in fact I did some mental planning for this post.

Curiosity Vs. Distraction

The concert fell on World Book Day. At school, registration groups decorated doors like book covers in spectacular displays. For the first few minutes of each lesson, teachers were supposed to read out a section of Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery,” building to its shocking finish during the last lesson.

A good idea, but it seemed students in my lessons, even in top sets, weren’t paying attention. Hardly any discussion sprang up. The lack of curiosity and engagement astounded me.

*I did take a pause last week to play Pooh-sticks and admire this twisty trunk on a sunny day.*

Apparently, though, the most negative feedback the Literacy Coordinator received over the short story was from a teacher who said: “The students had a lot of questions after. It would be better if the literacy task didn’t require follow-up.”

Really? For just one day of the year, couldn’t we dispense with rote, frantic study for exams and engage in some curiosity?

Some see inquisitiveness as a deficit in attention; a propensity for distraction. But it’s actually a sign of engagement. It just might be an engagement which doesn’t fully align with others’ plans.

Anyway, after my worries about our students apathy to books and stories, I felt reassured to see the young people at the concert engaging and responding.

Limits and Deficits

There’s probably more I could learn from them. This last month, in addition to writing in my novel, editing the last one, and critiquing other writers’ work, I’ve been crafting a gothic short story for a competition. It’s been particularly challenging to coalesce my ideas with enough suspense in less than 1000 words. I rewrote it three times before even finishing a single draft.

Nothing wrong with starting over and trying new perspectives. I’d get excited about each new idea—and then the effort of concocting just the first couple of paragraphs all over again would have me swooning into the arms of the Internet and whatever recent doom was within scrolling view.

I may need to build my stamina for both standing, and creating. I’m so used to a faster pace, squeezing my writing into little bits and bobs of time, I hardly know what to do when a more extended period is available.

Just as Leith Ross’s music made standing well worth while, music can help me focus when I’m writing as well. Leith Ross particularly sings, in a poetic, evocative way, about overcoming grief for the past in order to live in the present. Her love songs celebrate moments magnified by who we spend them with, and she often ponders the essence of home.

Her song “Grieving” has helped me through the past six months or so. I highly recommend a listen.

“But grief is love run backwards, so we love them better then,
And we love them with forgiveness, all because we know the end.
So I never will stop grieving everything that’s yet to die;
I think I’ll love after I’m dead, and I’ll grieve while I’m alive.”

Surely that’s one of the best reasons to linger in the present. What do you do to stretch your attention span and keep focused?

The Wow Factor

This Week’s Bit of String: First fireworks

When my little Bear was 2.5 years old, my best friend and I took them to the 4th of July fireworks in the biggest local town. The Outing Club rocketed the fireworks from their ski slope over the surrounding valley, and we were running late as ever so were just trotting down the opposite hill when they started.

The colourful explosions put a skip into Bear’s step. They cried, “Wow! Oh, wow!”

I don’t think I’d ever heard them say that before. Such excitement is to be cherished and never forgotten, and fully warrants the nearly-taboo exclamation points.

Like the time after school once, a few years later when we were settled in the UK. Bear and I were walking back from town, they were maybe 6 years old, and a harvest moon rose, big and yellow. Bear stopped in the middle of recounting some kind of ds game or Star Wars scene to me, and broke into applause for the glorious natural phenomenon.

It’s so important to put ourselves in the way of moments that produce this type of reaction, even if it’s a daily event like the moonrise. We mustn’t lose our capacity to be impressed.

During half-term this week, I’ve mostly been working on writing and reading and weeding and cleaning. But I did abscond for a day and take the train to Bristol for a good wander. I climbed Brandon Hill and Cabot Tower to look out over the city, had a roasted white hot chocolate from Mrs. Potts chocolate house, and mooched around Bristol Museum and Art Gallery. Plenty of Wow Factor there, from Assyrian tablets to ichthyosaur bones to all kinds of crystals and then more paintings and artefacts.

I could have stood for ages in front of James Tissot’s oil painting Les Adiuex (The Farewells) from 1871. The detail of the woman’s lace gloves! The clasped hands and the faces agonised by separation. But, there were other gallery visitors and it’s only fair they should see the painting as well.

Vacationing

When I was out and about in Bristol, there were lots of families trying to keep entertained there. Two siblings behind me on the train really liked the Arriva Train Care centre near Temple Meads station, with its sidings flanked by giant car wash brushes.

“That is so cool,” they kept saying.

And as I wandered at Bristol Harbour, I heard excited young people mistake the boats for the Titanic. At Millennium Square a boy on a scooter, maybe already in the early years of secondary school, freely told his friend, “I love these fountains.”

I’d almost forgotten what it’s like to hear kids enjoy themselves. At work we’re becoming pretty rundown. The students are so unmotivated and in a few cases, unpleasant. That said, my experience is mostly within the special needs area. Many of our students truly struggle, and exams ask almost too much from them.

*Obie, however, is ready to try being a writer and a scholar.*

Other students will experience school differently. On the last day before the break, quite a few of our statemented kids were out (there’s one boy in Year 10 who is marked “ill” on the last day of every single term—intriguing, no?) so I ended up in a top-set year 10 English class.

They were reviewing GCSE war poems they first learned last year, so I took a small group to go over “Kamikaze” by Beatrice Garland. It tells the story of a Japanese pilot who was supposed to commit kamikaze. But he changes his mind, and goes home instead. He chooses life, and his family can never forgive him. His neighbours and his wife, ultimately his children, refuse to speak to him again because of this dishonour.

I read the poem to a group of 4 students I’d never met. The last lines go: “And sometimes, she said, he must have wondered/ which had been the better way to die.”

The boy next to me said, “Wow. That was really—wow. You know?”

Rejuvenation

It’s just nice to share that reaction sometimes.

Although I always have some kind of deadlines and a long to-do list, the half-term week off from my day job at school is lovely because I can do it all with a bit less rush. I can pretend that writing is my main work.

Sometimes, a lack of spare time can make us more productive. We are aware of our limits so we optimise any opportunity to write. A sudden extra helping of free time, as at half-term, might make us more reckless and we squander some of that time. There’s truth in that.

On the other hand, not being rushed can give us some creative freedom. I might enjoy writing more when I don’t have a million other chores hanging over my head, just as those poor kids on half-term can go out and enjoy themselves.

And maybe, when we all return to school tomorrow, those of us who sought and were privileged to find inspiration will have some new energy and tolerance so we can keep trying to pass it on. When I climbed Brandon Hill in Bristol, the views from the tower were pretty great, but so too were the crocuses close to the ground. It reminded me there’s excitement and beauty to be found all over—maybe we just need a little break.

What makes you say “Wow?”

Rounding Out Characters

This Week’s Bit of String: A sunset softening

When they were in infant school and then through most of junior school, my little Bear had a rather questionable friend. I’ll call the friend Jack. Jack would steal from Bear, and if bigger bullies came round, Jack would either abandon our Bear, or join in the bullying.

I had been mistrustful of Jack since Bear’s first session before infant school. Jack was a tester. I watched him wriggle to sit next to Bear and start poking them, to see what they’d do about it.

Yet when they became friends, they had fun playing together. Once I walked to the playground with the boys, who must have been around 6 or 7 at the time. It was evening, and tough little “Jack” couldn’t help crying out, “Look at that beautiful sunset!”

*Juxtaposition… I took this while helping with a GCSE mirror photo shoot.*

So despite the confusing torments to which he sometimes subjected my Bear, I was mindful that Jack had some reverence for beauty within him.

His dad was a veteran and a magistrate, a firm and strict man who appeared uninterested in children. Jack’s older half-brother had behavioural issues so severe, he boarded at a special school. Jack must have suffered from a lack of empathy around him.

Knowing some of a person’s challenging backstory, combined with a glimpse into a softer moment, helps me summon sympathy and patience for them. Semi-consciously, I use this to triangulate characters too: one point flaw, one point misfortune, one point unexpected kindness.

I wonder, though: does this become a bit formulaic, a bit facile? What fully qualifies a character, and indeed a real human being, as well-rounded?

Basic Binaries

It seems the instinct when creating characters is to allow for juxtaposition. If it’s a really nasty character, make sure there’s a streak of goodness. Any nice character needs a flaw. But binary opposites don’t draw a complete circle.

Then there’s the element of surprise. Let’s endow each character with something a little unexpected. Preternaturally mature thoughts from a young character; impressively trendy observations from an elderly one. Again, these examples fall into binaries, which are simply opposite points on a single line.

This makes characters entertaining and makes plots interesting. But when I look deeply at it, I’m not sure how enriched these methods are. The main character in Me Before You by JoJo Moyes, for example, is quite charming and we’re rooting for her, but I never felt convinced she was fully rounded. She was given a quirky dress sense and a shockingly sad episode in her background, plus a chatty demeanor. From that assemblage of characteristics, I didn’t feel I understood who she was, if that makes sense.

I come up against this a lot if I think deeply about characters, whether created by successful writers or by myself; whether it’s classic writing from centuries ago, or current. It’s like if you try to remember someone’s face in its entirety, but can only summon eyes and maybe the smile. Or if you look at a word too long and the way the letters fit together ceases to cohere, and you question how they could possibly belong in that absurd order and what business do we have assigning them any meaning in the first place.

I’m not sure we can ever fully round a character, because how can we ever grasp a human being in their fullness, when we are forever developing our understanding of ourselves?

Bursting Bubbles

The best way to fill out our own personalities is to take in diverse perspectives through various forms of media, and then reflect on them. In some ways this is made easy for us because more voices are amplified and represented now. On the other hand, this can feel like an intimidating cacophony, and we retreat into our own corners with people who share our opinions and backgrounds. We risk shallowness.

After a GCSE English lesson this week, my colleague approached me with concerns about a special needs student. ‘It’s…thinking,’ my fellow TA explained. “She avoids any thinking.”

That’s true of a lot of students. True of a lot of people. Watching particularly our year 10 boys, who don’t take anything seriously and won’t accept any responsibility, I suspect they’ve learned this not just online but from their parents.

We hear the phrase “living in a bubble” especially pertaining to social media. However, bubble is an unrealistically soft word for this. Sure, it feels soft and cushioning to us. But we’re actually sharpening our edges when we rub against the same opinions and beliefs again and again. Repeated agreement flattens our character.

One of my projects last month was a short story about Issy, whose teen brother became radicalised online by right-wing misogynists, so she runs away and hides out in the Charles Dickens Museum. She reads his classics and observes tourists and sometimes reflects on how one-dimensional everyone seems “these days.”

While creating Issy’s story, I explored with her the idea of flat versus rounded characters. Throughout human history, most have been forced to focus almost exclusively on survival. Even in the ever-so-civilised British Empire when Dickens wrote, thousands were starving and neglected; disease and dismal sanitation conditions were rampant. How many had the privilege of being well-rounded?

So it’s important we use our relative privilege to expand our horizons, and I guess sometimes that means not judging so harshly when people seem narrow-minded or flat. In fiction, though, I will continue to ponder what really makes a well-rounded character. How would you define it?

New Year, New Doom

This Week’s Bit of String: Things that growl in the night

3 a.m. The cat is finished napping. Although unlike myself, Obie is naturally blessed with an ability to see (and hunt) in the dark, he doesn’t like to go downstairs alone. So every time he wants something downstairs, he scratches the wardrobe or mews chidingly, and I walk down with him. He goes to his food dish and I turn promptly around.

But then he starts growling at the back door. He makes those feline siren calls, starting low and building to a high whine. Then come the full-throated snarls and hisses. Something out there, through the full-length double-glazed glass, terrifies him. My husband and I don’t see anything, but I am shaking violently, thoroughly spooked.

While awake for ages afterward, I didn’t know exactly what I was afraid of. What could realistically have been out there that would pose a threat to us inside? An axe murderer? Maybe the proximity of another living being’s terror was enough to drive my own without any logical reason.

Scrolling, Scrolling, Scrolling

It wouldn’t have helped that I was anxious anyway. I’d been scrolling social media before bed and even during the night while already awake. Flinching past the attempted justifications for violence against immigrants and protesters in Minneapolis, worrying about the tensions over Greenland, horrified by the cost in human lives fighting for freedom in Iran.

2026, what is WRONG with you? I came into it excited, albeit cautiously. Looking forward to visits with my family, to working hard at writing, and especially to my own kiddo’s wedding in the summer. One reason I’m obsessing about the news is because I fear being separated.

*A beautiful place: the Minneapolis skyline viewed from its famous Spoonbridge and Cherry at the Sculpture Garden on the Loring Greenway*

The US is planning to tighten entry restrictions even for tourists. To visit with me, my husband will have 5 years’ worth of his social media scrutinised. What if he liked a meme that hurts their feelings and they don’t let him in?

I promise you, I know how fortunate I am. My life ticks along, even if sometimes on about 3 hours of sleep per night. Our house doors are sturdy and the country where I’m an immigrant hasn’t completely turned against me. But awareness of privilege doesn’t ease fear.

When I’m scrolling through news and social media, I’m not seeking personal affirmation. I’m looking for a sign that truth and empathy are winning. I crave universal agreement on what we see with our own eyes: that a human being with different beliefs or skin colour is still a human being, that a woman turning her car, maybe scared because some swearing paramilitary-looking dude was trying to force open her door, did not deserve to be executed.

Looking Ahead

We’re not going to get that, though, are we? A reasonable, empathetic consensus about human rights. It weighed heavily on me last week, exacerbated by the fact that a couple of students at work are so cruel and thoughtless, they’d fit right in with the Republican cabinet.

Another little group of students had asked me about guns violence in America. Kids will often make that association, and they want to know if I witnessed any. No, but there was a shooting at my school a couple years after I left, and another shooting widowed my sister’s best friend.

“How do you go out over there when you could get shot?” one of the British kids asked.

All I could say was, “You have to still live your life.”

We’ll vote for change and share the truth and advocate for empathy. In the meantime, I’ll plant my little crops, the first wave of which sits in compostable trays all over my dining room table. I’ll work on my writing, and I’ll try to read more than scroll. Panic doesn’t serve any use, and as my cat proved, it is infectious.

I’m also making use of the somewhat hospitable British climate, where I can take walks and admire the shape of bare tree branches against the sky. My final recommendation is to take in some art. We went to the Wilson Gallery in Cheltenham. It has an exhibit on the Arts and Crafts movement, and the sight of beautifully polished wood grain soothes me like flowing water.

How are you ensuring fear doesn’t get the better of you?